Archive for December, 2010
Hey folks. BHC here. I would like to spend a little time on this extraordinary day to rant about a philosophy. It’s a philosophy that came to my ears as innocently as a whisper from a good pal, a chum, an amigo as my Latin friends would say. When he said it there was no particular inflection in his voice, nor sinister motive, just the most basic thought ever. Do it till you can’t.
At first I thought it was a quitter of a slogan. It wasn’t as instantly uplifting as “Hang in there, baby” or as motivating as “Just Do It”, but when you take a moment to look at it a little closer it really isn’t about quitting. It simply implies that anything you do should be done until it can no longer be done. Let’s put it in a different context. Playing sports? Do it till you can’t. Doing a crossword puzzle? Do it till you can’t. Running a marathon? Do it till you can’t. Getting your drink on? Do it till you can’t, just don’t drive. Doing the horizontal bobble? DO IT TILL YOU CAN’T!
There are so many places in this wacky world we call life to use this simple philosophy. As I am setting goals for the New Year my main focus will be on getting the BHC Nation to have more members than a certain North Carolina born American Idol runner-up. It’s a daunting task to think of the Nation being over 12,000 strong, but I’m gonna do it till I can’t. Because the bigger the Nation gets, the bigger the food drives get, the bigger the nights out get, the more fun we will all have. And I know you will stand behind me, each of you suggesting the BHC Nation page to all your friends, sharing membership posts, sharing my blogs, helping me to help the world and you all do it till you can’t, and I love you for it.
So, do it till you can’t. If I think this applies to many things, there is one that it should be tied to indefinitely. Love till you can’t. Love with all the desire in your heart. Love with every fiber of your being and then love some more. Love like its oxygen. Love like there is nothing more powerful in the world. Because there isn’t, except Chuck Norris. Love till you can’t and I will do the same.
Love ya Nation,
Inductee #5: Mike McDonnell. Let me tell you about this guy I know. When you read his writing, the first thought that will go through your mind is, this guy is angry in a good way. The second thing you will notice is that he isn’t afraid to let a good story ramble on at a pace all its own. You’d think he gets paid by the letter. And I tease him because, well, that’s just the kind of guy he is. He’s like a little bear cub with a taste for human. Here’s something else about this guy, I’ve never met him in person. Not once. Never spoken on the phone nor received some twisted Christmas card with his Chester mustache creepily looking up the skirt of one of Santa’s helper elves. I don’t know if he sounds like Mr. T or Mike Tyson, though from looking at his mug, I’m betting it’s a cigarette harshened Bea Arthur. And even though I’ve never done any of those things with Mike McDonnell, this dude is my friend.
Back in the old days there was this blog on Myspace. One Man Asylum it was called. Mine was a Facebook birth so I’ve never read it, heard good things. Anyway, this other blog on that site at the same time was called Texts, Drugs, and Rock-n-Roll. That’s Mike. Personified him for me in a way that few titles, be it movie, album, blog, ever have. One Man Asylum says a lot, but Texts, Drugs, and Rock-n-Roll, that was something you wanted, no NEEDED, to be a part of. It’s like being part of the Nation. It’s bigger than you and it’s inviting and it’s loud but you want, no NEED, to be involved in it.
There are very few people who I friend requested in the beginning. Mike was one of the first on my list. I knew when I decided that I was gonna include the Bobblog in this amusement park that he would be a must have. If there was a guy who would help spread the Nation across the nation, it was Mike. And he did that with as much gusto as Andy Dick judging a sausage swallowing competition. He was all over it from the get go. Thank you Mike. You’re one of the great guys. Not allowed in 4 states, but still, dude, great guy.
Inductee #4 – Jules Thompson Raxter. Every now and then you come across someone who changes your entire life. Jules is one of them changes. I’m not lying when I say that being around her feels like you’re in a different time zone, like daylight savings time, but it’s just eternal shine. She F*$@ing glows. It’s ridiculous. She’s 1.21 gigawatts of wonderful. And I heard about Jules from TJ. She was the Master of Ceremonies at the Biker Boyz Gone Wild event and pulled it off without the assistance of a working microphone. Seriously, she’s a trooper. She is also part of this spectacular entity known as the Extended Biker Family Events. This is awesome! As a lot of folks in the world look at bikers as mean people who do horrible things, she shows them the compassionate, loving side of good people. The truth is there is more compassion and quality of individual in the biker world than there is “normal” society. I will stick by the statement. Swear I gotta learn to ride one of them things more than 12 feet without crashing. Bucket list item: Learn to ride.
When Jules came on the BHC Nation scene she did it with a passion that I have found she uses for everything in her life. She is the living embodiment of what I stand for. Love, compassion, fun, and support. I will never forget the day before Thanksgiving. Until that point Jules had dealt with me only online, as most of you have, but on that Wednesday I showed up at the End Zone. As she opened my Patron box her eyes popped out of her head like Bugs Bunny when he sees the girl bunny. And then there was this noise. Some of you out there are familiar with the noise of which I am speaking. A high-pitched shrill squeal of pure delight. With the sound still echoing through the bar she snatched me out the box and paraded me around. At each table I was met with another squeal from other members of the Nation. She got onstage and told everyone in the place how I was all about love and Bobblehead Clay was a good man. She then let me sit in with the Oneppo Brothers Band. It was a good time.
Jules wants a one word definition for what I, and the BHC Nation is: I’m an interactive philosophy. It’s the shortest answer I can come up with as, thanks to people like Jules, I am still evolving. Ever changing. Ever growing. Ever bobbling.
Jules and the Extended Biker Family have taken me to their bosom, and you know how much I love a good motorboat. She is an amazing woman who has a heart the size of a planet. It baffles me how such a big heart is housed in a human body and I have much to learn from her in that regard. Together I have a feeling that Jules and I can actually change the world. That’s an awesome feeling to have, and I never would have it if I hadn’t had the privilege of knowing her.
So thank you to Jules Thompson Raxter. A simple induction into the Order of the Notorious is hardly enough to convey what you mean to me and the Nation, but right now it’s the best I can do. I love you so much. Thank you for everything.
Inductee #3: TJ Comer (Miss Empire). Now I know what you’re thinking, “That’s an ugly tranny.” And you’d be right, TJ would make an ugly woman. But as a bro he’s top notch. He dawned that ridiculous get up for a charity event called Biker Boyz Gone Wild, where he represented our local gathering spot, Empire Pizza and Bar. Here’s the kicker, pretty much every biker beauty at the event was drunk. I mean, it takes a couple of cocktails to get the body ready to strut around a bar full of bikers while wearing an evening gown. But TJ was sober. That amazed me. Had I been in the hands of any other barbarian in Vera Wang no one knows the places and things I would have seen. That’s a horrifying thought. But TJ would no doubt keep me safe. He did and we had a blast. But TJ’s influence on the BHC Nation doesn’t end with a simple charity event. He’s way more important to the bodyguard than even TJ imagines.
This guy selflessly promotes BHC and believes in the messages of love and compassion. He listens to the bodyguard as schemes are hatched, blogs talked about, charity events planned. He’s going to be instrumental in The Big Bobble, a charity concert that we are going to pull off in the spring. TJ is the first sounding board for everything that you see on the page, in the blog, and in the future. He has introduced me to people that have made the impossible, totally possilbe. As the bodyguard slips into BHC more and more, it’s TJ, Wally, and Emily that pull him out and remind him that he’s a real boy. That’s a service that you usually have to pay extra for, triple in parts of Thailand, but I assure you TJ knows nothing about those kind of things. (Side to TJ: Dude, I told you I could include the Thailand thing in a “classy” way). It’s also a service that is essential. The bodyguard does need time to be himself and TJ is most helpful in that capacity.
TJ Fun Fact: Limber as a gymnast.
So thank you TJ Comer! Your place in the Order of the Notorious was inevitable from the start. Thank you for all the advice, the support, the help, and just for being a good man and friend. You’re one of the good guys and the Nation is lucky that you exist.
Inductee #2 – Wendy Foster. This is how it all began. That, right there, is the first picture I ever took with a lady. That is Ms. Wendy Foster, Hooter’s Girl of the Year 2o1o. Don’t you just love her? I do. Well, of course I do. Wendy has taken me with her on trips to Hooters Calender signings, where I got my picture taken with more hot ladies, but here’s some stuff you don’t get to see on those pictures. Each night she would sit me on the nightstand next to her bed and we would stay up all night talking about what we wanted in a mate, our futures, the chances of a “Beauty and a Bobble” reality show and so much more. They were some of the greatest nights of my life.
But Wendy is more than just a pretty face, she’s got an amazing body too. Seriously, she’s as sweet as honey. There has never been a time that I’ve walked into the local Hoot and Wendy wasn’t there with a huge smile and a warm greeting. That’s just the kind of person that she is. When she first met me, there was never any doubt in her mind that I would one day be the brightest star in the bobble universe. With that kind of support how could I not become famous. Wendy gave me the first nudge. And for that I thank her and love her.
Wendy has moved recently and is no longer in my life on a regular basis, but that doesn’t change what she means to me or her place in the pantheon that is the BHC Nation. I wish her the best in all her pursuits and hope that life finds her in a happy place everyday.
Shrine Inductee #1 – Jeff Vash. Without Jeff, the Nation would not be possible. During the very first days of my life on Facebook, Jeff was there suggesting all his friends. So many of you are a direct result of his passion of all things bobble. Now there’s some things I would like to make up about Jeff right now. He’s been to Turkey. Absolutely, not true. Don’t even know if he’s a fan of the poultry or not. He’s was at Top Gun Academy in Mira Mar. Again, total fabrication. Though, Jeff is so cool he would eat Tom Cruise’s lunch like Jester did, Jester’s not dead, d-bag, that stunt took place below the flight deck. Whatever. Jeff ain’t no Top Gun pilot, that’s all I’m saying.
Now for a few truthes, as I understand them, about Mr. Vash. This dude throws a good party. Actually, it’s a family trait, a helluva good one. Many were the nights that the bodyguard would sit at the Vash’s patio table and drink himself slightly more stupid. The parties were amazing. There was the Dragon Tail shot wheel at one of the Casa Soprano parties. Mind you this was an 1,100 square foot, three bedroom apartment. The back yard, if you could call it that was maybe 10×30 and I swear there were over a 100 people at that party. It was craziness. Another truth about Jeff, he’s an amazing friend. He supports his friends like no man I have ever met. It was because of that nature Jeff was so selfless with his friend list at the begining. For some reason that I still don’t quite understand, he believed in the idea of me more than the bodyguard. Where the bodyguard saw a fun situation, Jeff saw a phenomenon. I don’t think I”m quite to that stage yet, but we’re certainly getting there.
So I wish to take this time to publicly thank Jeff and welcome him as the first member of The BHC Nation “Order of the Notorious”. Without you, sir, this Nation would be smaller than a Mel Gibson fan club. People like you, the fun, good hearted, silly people of the world make the whole thing possible. You gave me a direction that I don’t think I would have found without you and for that alone you deserve for more praise than just being the first Nation member inducted into the “Order of the Notorious”. Thanks Jeff.
Hey folks, BHC here. Today is a very special day as I am introducing a new feature to the Nation. The Order of the Notorious. So many of you out there deserve recognition for your support and love of the Nation. This is my way of thanking you. Some people will be included because of what they have done to better the Nation, some for contributions to the bodyguards life, some for just being totally awesome. Over the course of the day I will be revealing the first 5 inductees into the Order of the Notorious.
These people don’t just deserve your love and respect, they deserve statues to be erected in their likeness. If I had millions of dollars I would start a college scholarship in the name of each one of these fine people. Unfortunately, all I can do right now is offer them my thanks. So, please, go to their walls and congratulate them. Tell them thank you for all they have done. Make them feel the way that they so often make others feel, loved and respected.
Without further ado I give you the first 5 members of the Order of the Notorious. Long may they live and long my the Nation rise.